I read a blog recently about a lady who witnessed grown women making fun of teenagers in their prom dresses. For real. (Check it out here!) I mean, who.does.that?! It made me sad. As a mom this has become a more noticeable thing to me. In my eight year old daughter's parent-teacher conference last week, we got to talking about Lily's behavior and she was so complimentary of Lily's kind heart and said how she hopes it stays that way. It made me happy and proud until she told me the reason. She warned me that in her experience, she sees that girls start the whole catty behavior thing at the end of second grade beginning of third grade and she hoped Lily would be able to continue being strong in the face of those girls. I wasn't shocked by her comments because I have already seen this catty behavior before in situations with Lily and girls she has been around. I try to teach Lily to stand up for herself and let the "friend" know that they don't need to speak to her that way and that it isn't kind. Unfortunately, what I am also going to have to teach my daughter is that it doesn't get any better when you are a grown woman as evident by the blog above where these grown women were making fun of teenage girls.
The older I get, the less tolerance I have for mean girls too. Call it my Momma Bear protective nature but I don't like it when it's girls are mean to my daughter, to my friends or to me so I just don't accept it anymore. Period. I have no desire to intentionally try and hurt someone's feelings to make myself better. What is the point?! Plus, life is just too short to spend time with girls or women who are not going to build you up and/or be kind. You see it all of the time on TV and social media too. We watch shows like Fashion Police where part of the point of the show is to rip apart the way someone looks. On Facebook, if you have a gripe with a friend...take it out on her by posting some sort of passive/aggressive post. You can even be mean anonymously if you want too. Isn't social media great? :(
So here's what some of the the rules are in our house. When my daughter and I watch red carpet shows, we always try and find something nice to say about the outfit even if it's not our fave! Not a fan of the dress? Maybe you like the hair or the jewelry instead and you focus on that. No mean comments allowed! Is a girl being mean to you at school? Whisper a little prayer for her and hope her behavior will change. If it doesn't, focus on spending your time with the friends who ARE kind. Spat with a friend? Work it out if the friendship is worth it, and if it's not, then as Elsa from Frozen says..."Let It Go, the cold never bothered me anyway!" lol
I guess it can be summed up in one simple old school sentence...if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!
Words to live by don't ya think?
What are your suggestions for dealing with the mean girls big and small? Weigh in below!